Friday, September 4, 2015

Counseling. What it is. What it isn't.


I went to my dentist yesterday. As I sat in the chair I asked him if I'd be able to see a few clients after this procedure. He said that shouldn't be a problem. I laughed and said that maybe I could just sit there and nod my head and say, "mhhhm."  He laughed and said I could just hold up a card that says, "How do you feel about that?" His nurse then chimed in and said, you could hold up a card that says "What do you think you should do to solve that problem?"

I smiled, but later reflected on this and thought to myself, is this what people think counseling is?

Yes feelings are important, but far more important is how we deal with them, how we process, or if we process and are able to integrate them.

And what is behind these feelings? What is the meaning we give to our experiences, to the events in our lives. What are the stories that we create, and how do they shape who we are, how we see others, and the world around us?

Counseling is the ability to create a safe/healing space where others can allow themselves to let down their defenses, if even for little while. 
Counseling is learning how to listen.
Counseling is helping others unravel their story, gently untangling the threads they have tied and connected together to help them better understand themselves.
Counseling is giving people the permission to choose who they want to be, and then helping them see it's possible.
Counseling is sometimes educational, whether it's sharing communication skills, child rearing skills or stress management skills.
Counseling can be a drama. Counseling can be a safe place to explore parts of yourself you aren't ready to share with the world yet...until you are.
Counseling is...

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Change...it's not what you thought

I have people coming to me all the time seeking change. Ask a room full of people, "who wants to change", and you'll get a show of hands. Ask, "who is willing to change, and do the hard work?", and well...

Change is hard, period. If it were easy we'd all be happy, healthy, etc. Change requires integration. Integration of our past, which sometimes includes unhealthy beliefs, behaviors and emotions. Integration of our soul with our body, emotions and mind.

What does that mean, integration with our body. We're here. We're alive. What is there to integrate? What does integration even mean? I believe each one of us came here with a purpose, and to fulfill that purpose we have to remember who we are, and to remember who we are we have to forget what we've been told!

Regardless of what level you're dealing with, what issue you are working on, it all takes time, patience, acceptance, and kindness. Whatever change you make, however small, will make a difference in every other aspect of your life...so that's cool.

So. I want to send a shout out to all of you, regardless of what you're going through, what "change" you're making, what your beliefs are.

Love to you...Be kind to yourself, and enjoy the journey.