Don't focus on that, focus on this!?

Focus on what?

Your problems.  Don't focus on your problems, focus on what you want, your hearts desire, what you yearn for, your passion...

Well that makes good sense............but, if it were only that easy!!!

Many of us try to live by this philosophy, only to end up dwelling on our problems or spending all kinds of time and energy trying to avoid them.  This can be very subtle or extreme.  Often we find ways of avoiding by working too much, over-committing ourselves, drugs or alcohol, exercise...  So where does that leave us and what do we do?

It's important that I make a distinction here.  There is a big difference between focusing or rather dwelling on our problems, and all that is wrong in our life and who caused us such pain and anger..., versus focusing or loving awareness of our bodies sensations and feelings.  We all know the first part very well, because we all have done it, or still do it, and yet most will agree that the outcome is always the same, suffering.

So what do I mean loving awareness.  Well let me elaborate.  I have written some in the past on Body Awareness which looks at this in more detail, so feel free to look that up on my Blog.  Let's do a small exercise here...

Sitting with your feet on the floor, allow yourself to take a few deeper breaths, noticing your belly as it moves in and out with each breath, breathing in and breathing out.  Nothing is more important in this moment than your breath, breathing in and breathing out.  Now as you continue to breathe, move your mind or awareness to your pelvis and just notice what you are feeling or sensing in this area.  Slowly moving your attention up from your pelvis to your solar plexus, just becoming aware of any sensations or feelings.  As you do know that just for this moment there are no good and bad feelings, there is no need in this moment to judge, or to make anything right or wrong  You are just noticing, feeling out what is going on, allowing yourself to feel what is going on, knowing it's okay, and that you are okay, regardless of how you feel in this moment.  With this awareness continue to slowly move your mind throughout your body remembering to breathe, as breath will help you to move through or process whatever is going on, breathing in, breathing out.  Just for now whatever I'm feeling is okay, I'm okay...breathing.

Loving awareness is as simple as noticing what we're feeling and where we're feeling it in our body, whether it be a sensation like tension or pain, or a feeling.  We can use words such as, "I am noticing this ...", "I am noticing the feeling of ...", "I am noticing resistance/defensiveness", "I am experiencing the feeling of ..." or "I am experiencing ...".  Whatever works for you.  The idea with using phrases like this is that we are differentiating ourselves, or the greater part of ourselves and the feeling or sensation, which is different from saying, "I am anxious".  See for yourself.  And again, don't forget to breathe.  

On a final note, you can spend longer with any feeling or sensation to explore it if you are able to hold the awareness...which leads me to the next part.  What happens to many of us as why try to maintain any type of awareness is that our minds go somewhere else, a thought, a memory, what caused us to feel this way, etc.  This exercise then serves multiple purposes.  It helps us to actually process an experience without ruminating on it.  It helps us to train our minds to be more present, and to live/be in the moment.  It helps us to build a deeper more kind and loving relationship with ourselves, and it gives us a great tool for taking better care of ourselves.

Now that you are hopefully feeling in a better place, you can focus on your passion with more openness and love.  The way I see it is, now our focus will be clearer, because there won't be so much in the way.  Put in another way, you will have a stronger foundation on which to build what you want!  A suggestion on focusing on your goals; use I statements, and the present tense, and try the word grateful.  Here's an example, "I am healthy", or "I am grateful to be healthy", while allowing yourself to get into the feeling of what that would feel like and seeing yourself as being healthy, if you can.

Happy Journeys.