Roles We Play; I'm Smeagol?

Have you ever wondered who you are, who you truly are?  Are you a father?  Are you a wife, a lover?  Do you see yourself as a boss, an Engineer, a criminal perhaps?  Maybe you think of yourself as a joker, or an angry bitter individual, a victim, a survivor, or someone who sees the glass half full.

Who exists beyond the roles you and I play in our lives?

I have played many roles in my own life.  I’d like to introduce you to one of them.  I call him Smeagol.  You remember that poor decrepit creature in The Lord of the Rings?  As you read through this, allow yourself to reflect on roles you have played or still find yourself taking on.  This can be a fun exercise in exploration that brings greater understanding and awareness to your life.

Smeagol is scared.  Smeagol desperately does not want to be seen.  He sees the world and others through the belief that he has to prove himself, that he has to be perfect, and that if others see him they will no doubt reject him.  

Smeagol is angry.  Smeagol blames others for his problems and fear.  He needs others to accept him, and wants to let others know how they have hurt and caused him suffering by constantly rejecting him.

Smeagol is sad.  Smeagol wants to know love and acceptance.  Smeagol wants to open his arms and love himself and others.  Smeagol is tired of hurting.

 

I have at times been scared of Smeagol.  At other times I have fought Smeagol and even tried to run from him.  Many times I have accepted him, and yet others I thought I was him.

As I reflect on this for myself and all of us processing and working through aspects of ourselves that no longer serve us this image and prayer comes to mind...

“I am ready to let go of all resistance to this part of myself.  As I stand surrendering to this moment and all of me I allow myself to embody my soul self, feeling my connection to spirit, while remaining firmly grounded to my present home and body.  I let the winds of time blow through and around me, cleansing me to my core.  I am a powerful spiritual being having a physical experience.”

Chronic Pain, there are answers.

Chronic pain is a disabling condition that affects every aspect of ones life and well-being. It can have a negative effect on almost every aspect of the body, as well as effecting the cognitive and emotional functioning of the individual.  It has such a profound effect on the individual that it also affects the people in ones life adversely, ones career and extra curricular activities

Prolonged pain affects the sympathetic nervous system causing a detrimental effect on the body.  It achieves this physiological response through the endocrine system and an increase in the hormone production of ACTH, catecholamines, ADH, angiotensin, and glucagon, which adversely affect various body systems.  These systems respond to the stress of unresolved pain by increasing the heart rate and blood pressure, increasing the demand for oxygen consumption, impairing the GI function, causing respiratory dysfunction and further complications, causing sodium and water retention, causing muscle spasms/impaired muscle function and muscle fatigue, and also a depression of the immune system.

Unresolved pain can also result in an individual experiencing distressing cognitive impairment as well as increasing anxiety levels.  These changes can further interfere with activities of daily living such as diet, exercise, work, leisure and sleep patterns.

Chronic pain requires a multidisciplinary approach for effective treatment.  Counseling can provide education in cognitive and behavioral strategies found to be effective in the management of chronic pain.  Also relaxation training lowers the response level, reduces symptoms and minimizes the physical impact of stress caused by chronic pain. 

I have been in the health field for over 15 years.  In my Counseling I provide an eclectic approach that includes Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Person Centered Therapy and Relaxation Techniques.  I help clients see how their cognitions and behaviors affect their pain and its degree.  I help them to uncover unresolved issues / traumas that may be exacerbating the problem, and create new, healthier thoughts and behaviors.  I use Relaxation Techniques such as progressive relaxation and visualizations to assist in this process by forcing the client to directly face their problems and pain, thus learning to release any resistance they may have related to their situation.  It is my experience that when confronted with pain most people don’t want to experience it, creating resistance that leads to more resistance and an increase in symptoms.

What are the benefits to this kind of exploration and treatment?  People can expect a greater sense of peace, ease, and joy.  Also many people experience an increased sense of well-being and empowerment, thus improving their relationships, and their lives.

What about tools that you can use for yourself?  Yoga and meditation is a great start.  And it doesn't matter what kind of meditation.  What matters is that it's the right kind for you; whether that means a walking meditation, or a quiet sitting meditation, or a guided meditation.  Meditation is a great tool for teaching us to be conscious / aware of the present moment in an open and non resistant state of non-judgment.  Give it a try, and be well.

Resisting Change; a Personal Story

Not long ago I taught a class on Meditating.  In it I presented a certain form of meditation that involved the use of the body as a vehicle to awareness.  A conversation I had afterwords with one of the students left me with thoughts of doubt, coupled with emotions and physical sensations.  "I am trying to control things."  "I have to do it that way."  "I have to be perfect."  "I...", well you get the picture.
It's amazing how much we resist, how things like doubt and fear can leave us feeling alone and disconnected, how much I felt these things.
It's amazing how a different idea, way of doing things, belief, can trigger these feeling in us.  No wonder our political arena resembles a Junior High School playground.  No wonder we have killed over these things; values, culture, Religion.
And it's not going to change, regardless of what policies, social systems, etc. we have in place.  It will only change when we change, when we can sit with and love, if you will, ourselves, our own insecurities.  As our consciousness expands to embody all of us, including the shadows that terrify us, that lay hidden, that we blame on external forces like our spouse, our parents, etc.  It's only then that we can know and embrace ourselves and others.
Namaste.