STOP working so hard, and try BEING

On the path of growth there have been many times I have found myself working hard. Change is hard work. It takes commitment, fortitude, time, intention.

There have been times I have worked when I needed to let go, our just "be", however. That's a tough one for me and for many of us. Finding peace or quiet within the storm. Not thinking I have to do it all myself, like it's all on my shoulders.

I remember when I decided to let go of my anger towards my father. It was a conscious decision I made because I wanted greater healing and peace in my life. This brought forth a lot of my unresolved issues with him and gave me the opportunity to deal with them. My approach to healing at the time was similar to what it had been during my time of illness, to approach it with gusto, to work hard, breathe hard, stomp my feet hard, process hard.

I've since learned how to "be" more, which is a learned skill, but one anyone can do, which is to just notice the feelings and thoughts as they come up. Instead of engaging with them, I have taught myself to relax and breathe, allowing the feelings to just flow, and the thoughts to just come and go.

There are times I still struggle, and like everyone still have triggers. One has been about food. I don't like people talking "badly" about food, especially when I'm eating it. Sometimes I would say this, at other times I would find myself sitting down to eat again afterwards faced with a battle going on in my mind. I would be confronted with this individual whom I had to convince of my beliefs, or otherwise feel invisible. And so at times I found myself working hard, when in fact there is no one to convince, no one to fight, to defend myself against; just an opinion, someone's thought, and I'm just left fighting with myself.

Just "be".

You Don't Breathe Enough!

Okay, I have to confess first, I am a big breather.  I am a fan of breathing.  I admit!!  I have a tainted view on the subject of breathing.  There, I said it.

Why breathe?  I mean, why breathe beyond what is essential to sustain life?  Because it helps to increase your bodies oxygen, and it will help you to relax and process feelings more easily, and because it just feels good.

It's been my experience that most of us are scared of uncomfortable experiences.  I'm talking of the internal kind, emotions/sensations like fear, anxiety, anger, pain, etc.  And we're very good at finding creative ways to avoid them.  We blame others, we look for distractions around us, anything not to feel.

And so breathing solves all of this?  No...but it's a good start.

Simply take time every day, as often as necessary, to just be present with whatever you are experiencing.  I said experiencing, not thinking.  Try focusing on your breath, and let yourself relax, just let yourself be, as you allow your breath to deepen your experience.  Feel your belly rising and falling with each breath, letting that become your focus.  Allow your feelings to just become part of the process.  ”I'm breathing and I'm feeling ... I may not like it, I don't have to like it but that's okay, I'm okay, and I'm breathing.”  Allow yourself to feel the safety of your breath, something that’s been a constant for you from the moment you were born.  Think of it like the currents in the ocean, allowing the waves to rise and fall.  The ocean being a mass of energy that has been here since the earth was formed, ever present, stable.

Now breathe, and let yourself enjoy the experience wherever it may take you.

I Want it This Way

Which way?
The way that I'm used to.  I want to do things the way I always have, and yet I know they're not working.
Sound familiar?  We all do it.  Why? Because change doesn't come easy.  Not for most of us anyway.  The longer we've been walking the same old worn path, the deeper the rut, and the harder it will be to get used to another.
Let me be clear here.  The path I'm talking about can be an old mental pattern or way of thinking.  It can also be a way of behaving.  Finally it can consist of more subtle muscular patterns such as tension in your shoulders, or your lower back, or a knot in your stomach...you get the picture.
I have been meditating for years, and after considerable upheaval and chronic health problems that lasted for years consider myself quite healthy.  Yet even today when "stressed", old patterns surface; anger, tension, judgment, towards myself, fear, thoughts such as "I can't deal with this...", etc.
When I can sit with these various energies I am able to locate where they are in my body.  By noticing them I give them permission to be without resistance (which is what creates the problem).  In a way I am being loving to myself as one would be to a child.  This very act of BEING PRESENT starts to unravel the layer of pain I have created.
More on this in further Blogs which will answer questions such as...

1. What is BEING?
2. How do I be present?
3. How do I go inside my body?