Building Connections

I was at Whole Foods the other day, having lunch with a good friend.  We talked of many things; our lives, presence, spirit, and our work.  She is a Life Coach, http://heartsong-coaching.com/home, and like me she's realizing that you have to put yourself out there and make yourself visible and vulnerable to be successful.  It's a scary process, but if we expect others to drop their defenses to make that connection with us, so that they may further their healing, then we have to be willing to do the same.
As I was leaving Whole Foods, I once again passed by the display outside, a No Kill shelter for animals was viewing a few dogs they brought by that day for adoption, as well as trying to raise awareness for their cause.  As I was walking past I noticed how the people viewing the animals seemed to soften, even if for a moment.  I even saw a couple feeding some birds while eating their lunch.  Nice.  Animals can help us let down our guards and allow us to just be ourselves, even if for a moment.
What are you doing today to connect to others in a authentic heartfelt way, whether it be a friend, your wife, children, a parent, or grandparent?  It's sometimes scary being vulnerable, but allows us to build deeper more meaningful relationships.

Dance on a Star

 

There was a time when I could, 

when the stars were my playground.

I Want it This Way

Which way?
The way that I'm used to.  I want to do things the way I always have, and yet I know they're not working.
Sound familiar?  We all do it.  Why? Because change doesn't come easy.  Not for most of us anyway.  The longer we've been walking the same old worn path, the deeper the rut, and the harder it will be to get used to another.
Let me be clear here.  The path I'm talking about can be an old mental pattern or way of thinking.  It can also be a way of behaving.  Finally it can consist of more subtle muscular patterns such as tension in your shoulders, or your lower back, or a knot in your stomach...you get the picture.
I have been meditating for years, and after considerable upheaval and chronic health problems that lasted for years consider myself quite healthy.  Yet even today when "stressed", old patterns surface; anger, tension, judgment, towards myself, fear, thoughts such as "I can't deal with this...", etc.
When I can sit with these various energies I am able to locate where they are in my body.  By noticing them I give them permission to be without resistance (which is what creates the problem).  In a way I am being loving to myself as one would be to a child.  This very act of BEING PRESENT starts to unravel the layer of pain I have created.
More on this in further Blogs which will answer questions such as...

1. What is BEING?
2. How do I be present?
3. How do I go inside my body?

Resisting Change; a Personal Story

Not long ago I taught a class on Meditating.  In it I presented a certain form of meditation that involved the use of the body as a vehicle to awareness.  A conversation I had afterwords with one of the students left me with thoughts of doubt, coupled with emotions and physical sensations.  "I am trying to control things."  "I have to do it that way."  "I have to be perfect."  "I...", well you get the picture.
It's amazing how much we resist, how things like doubt and fear can leave us feeling alone and disconnected, how much I felt these things.
It's amazing how a different idea, way of doing things, belief, can trigger these feeling in us.  No wonder our political arena resembles a Junior High School playground.  No wonder we have killed over these things; values, culture, Religion.
And it's not going to change, regardless of what policies, social systems, etc. we have in place.  It will only change when we change, when we can sit with and love, if you will, ourselves, our own insecurities.  As our consciousness expands to embody all of us, including the shadows that terrify us, that lay hidden, that we blame on external forces like our spouse, our parents, etc.  It's only then that we can know and embrace ourselves and others.
Namaste.

The Day I Made Friends with Fear

I remember it was a beautiful day in early spring.  The sun was shining and I could hear the wind as it rushed through the new leaves just coming out on the trees. I wanted so much to go outside and enjoy this wonderful day, but there was a part of me that was feeling afraid.  My mother used to say that’s the way I was just made.
I didn’t want to feel this fear anymore though, so I tried yelling, “Go away fear.  I don’t want to feel you, not one more day.  Go away.”  I kicked my feet and pounded my fists hard into my pillow, but it was still there.
I curled myself up in a ball on my bed, but it still found me.  It can be really sneaky.
Looking out my window I saw people outside, walking their dogs, lying in the sun, riding their bikes.
I began to cry, and I rocked myself back and forth on my bed.
Just then I remember having a thought.
Getting up I pulled my shirt on over my head and put on my shoes.  Excitedly I began to race downstairs on my way out the door.
“What about the fear?”  I heard a small voice inside my head.  “Aren’t you afraid?
I felt a small shiver down my neck.
And then I leapt out the door, “Come on fear” I yelled, touching that place in me where I felt the fear, lovingly, “You can come and play too.”
And as I made my way outside I remember beginning to feel the fear transforming, and a warm/open feeling taking its place.
You see fear can’t exist where love is, and the best thing you can do when you feel feelings that are scary or uncomfortable is to name them, recognize where you are feeling them, and then love yourself in spite of what else you are feeling.
Remember you may have certain feelings, but you are not those feelings.  You are sooooo much more!