How often do you find yourself arguing with someone, whether they’re present or not.  Have you ever found yourself arguing about some idea in your own head?

Maybe you think everyone should use their turn signals.  It could be that you have strong views about the need for socialized health care.

What is it that you need when you try to state your case?  What would it mean to you if you were not heard, or if your opinion were not received?  What if you did not feel like you needed to defend yourself, or even explain yourself?
What makes this all so personal?

What if you knew  that your truth is completely valid, and that others truths are too?  
What if you could see that each truth is simply a different color in a tapestry made up of every color imaginable,  all making up a greater truth?  

Your truth has value, as do you.  Each of us is worthy and deserving, and it is important that we remember this, not only for our own sake, but to the world around us, our family and our friends as well.

Trust vs Fear

There are many words or concepts that relate to the word trust; openness, freedom, letting go, surrender, being.  Correspondingly there are many related meanings for fear also; ego, defensiveness, doubt, worry, etc.

It is hard for some to feel or imagine what trust truly means or feels like, as it may be such a foreign concept for them.  I think like with everything there are different degrees to which we experience trust.  

I trust that when I breathe in I will breathe in air that contains oxygen, allowing me to continue to live.  This is an unconscious or innate trust.  I may be able to trust that I will have enough to eat and drink for the day.  These days for some that may not always be a given.  But what about trusting yourself?

Can you trust that your body knows what it needs?  I think in the past we had a greater connection to the earth and our environment and probably could answer yes to this question.  These days many turn to doctors whom they only half heartily trust, and so also look to complementary modes of healing, which include Nutrition, Chiropractic, Acupuncture, Counseling, Massage and other bodywork therapies, etc.  What about your mind?  Is this something you trust?  Finally, what about your place in the universe, your spiritual connection to divine, God?  Are you someone that truly believes you are cared for, and someone who lives from that place, or do you have doubts, questions, and like many suffer from a disconnection between your mind and your heart?

Did you know you had a choice?  

To Trust is to Surrender

I used to think that I had to work hard at everything, to be good at it, to succeed.  I had to be perfect.

How does that relate to a concept like trust?  Working hard at it, thinking I have to do it a certain way, to be successful, may mean I could fail, it may mean it is all up to me, and my small shoulders.

What if trust wasn't something outside of me, a concept, a state I had to attain, but rather a letting go, a surrender to a deeper gentler relationship with myself.

What would happen if I stopped struggling and fighting and could just be with myself?

How would that change the way I respond to my fear, my pain, my joy?

Would that allow a greater sense of ease, joy and self?

Would this new sense of self simply know...TRUST.

Trust Yourself and EAT.

During and after going through a long illness in my twenties I read everything I could get my hands on that pertained to health, complementary therapies and nutrition.  I myself was a Vegetarian, followed a Rotation Diet, a Candida Diet, a Gluten Free Diet, a, well and some other variation of such.

Everywhere you go and turn you hear about some diet or program that will change your life.  Some are fad diets, some are based on scientific inquiry, others are just, well you decide.

There’s Vegetarianism and Vegan, similar, but being a Vegan means no eggs or dairy either.
There’s the 4 or is it 5 food group standard diet, which really is quite good, except that many people assume all carbs are the same, and can substitute Twinkies for real grains, or processed oils for cold pressed oils.
There’s the Atkins Diet, which actually isn’t that crazy if you read the book, and look at the later stages.  I’ll agree the first stage is extreme.
Then there’s the Caveman Diet.  What can you say, bizarre, yet makes sense if we’re still genetically similar to our ancient ancestors.
Speaking of ancestors, then there’s the Blood Type Diet, which assumes we all came from a Blood Type of O, the caveman, but then due to migration, geography, agriculture, etc. changed the way we eat, and the type of food we eat.  It maintains that as we changed the food we ate over the years our bodies changed, making different blood types more suitable for different diets.
Rotation Diet, suggests you rotate your foods every four days, so that you don’t eat anything everyday.  Difficult in today’s world, but a good idea to some degree.  Many of us are sick from eating foods we’re sensitive to everyday, ie. dairy, corn, gluten, eggs are some of the big culprits.
Gluten Free Diet, simply means eliminating everything with gluten in it; wheat, rye, oats, barley, spelt, kamut.  Daunting at first, but once you start it becomes easier.  This is necessary for those with certain digestive and allergy problems.
Raw Food Diet.  This one is kind of self explanatory, but extreme to say the least.  Raw foods are important, they carry enzymes and vitamins which can be lost in the cooking process, but...moderation.

So what is the point of all of this.  I’ve come to believe in moderation.  Nothing to the extreme, seems natural or good for me.  I’ve know people that went Vegetarian for ethical reasons only to have to add meat back into their diets some years later due to health reasons.  I’ve know people who thrive on a Vegan diet.  I’ve known people who swear by the Blood Type Diet.
Also I’ve come to believe in trusting myself, and am continuing to embrace this practice in all areas of my life.  When it comes to food it means trusting that my body, and it does, know’s what it needs...which is not what I may crave.  I eat meat, and feel that 2-3 times a week seems like a good place to be for me at this time.  That may change in the future.  I eat gluten grains now, though don’t eat wheat daily.  I eat dairy, but also not daily.  There was a time when I could eat neither, and when I had to eliminate all grains during pollen season due to allergies, and inflammation.  Yes grains, all grains can cause many people problems.

You are bombarded with information and advertising, and you are restricted by time.  It’s not easy, but more than ever it’s rewarding to slow down and listen to what your body truly needs.  Trust yourself.

Body Meditation

First, take your focus and become aware of your breath moving in and out of your belly.  Notice as your belly moves up and down with each breath.  Breathing in and breathing out, breathing in and breathing out.  Just for this moment nothing is more important than your focus and attention on your breath moving in and out of your belly, noticing your belly rise and fall with each and every breath.  Continue to focus on this movement for some time longer allowing yourself to relax in the rhythm of your breath, breathing in and out, in and out, noticing your belly rise, feeling your belly fall.

As you continue to focus on your belly rising and falling, imagine it as a wave and your body an expanse of water.  Relaxing your body even more, let the energy spread from the movement of your belly rising and falling out into your body.  Feel your breath move all the way down to the very tips of your toes, rocking you ever so gently into a deeper state of relaxation.

As you continue this way of breathing begin to allow your awareness to move throughout your entire body.  Starting first at your feet, become aware of how your feet feel.  Are they relaxed, are they squashed in your shoes?  Are they warm or cold?  Just allow yourself to become aware of any sensations or feelings you may be experiencing here at this time without judgement.  There is no right and wrong in the experience, there is only the experience.  You do not have to try and push any feelings away or be afraid of them, you are simply observing, noticing, becoming aware of, and breathing.  Breathing in, and breathing out.  If at any time during this exercise you feel overwhelmed, simply go back to noticing your belly as you breathe in and out, your belly rising and falling with each breath.  Use this as an anchor.

Continue to move your awareness now up from your feet into your legs and hips, into your abdomen, organs, and chest, allowing your awareness to expand with each breath as you go deeper into the experience of your body and yourself, breathing in and breathing out.  Notice what happens as you bring your loving awareness to yourself and any areas of tension / stress.  Notice what happens as you give them space.  As you bring your attention and breath to these areas notice your awareness continuing to expand and open.  Opening with awareness and breath, experiencing greater relaxation and peace, breathing in and breathing out.

Take some time to feel this throughout these areas.  Noticing gently, and breathing.

Allow your awareness to move to your spine, your shoulders and your neck, continuing to breath, just gently noticing, relaxing more with each breath, as your attention softens, gently expanding your awareness, opening your self to new sensations and feelings.  Finally allow your awareness to move to your head and arms, expanding, breathing, being.

Now let your mind move to your heart.  This is an area where we experience love and compassion for others and other things.  It's also an area where we receive and accept love for ourselves.  I would like you to just become aware of this area for a while, noticing any sensations or feelings you may have here as you breath, gently.

Now visualize one thing you would like more of in your life at this time.  It may be peace, or healing.  It may be abundance, joy, or healthy relationships.  Whatever it is, allow yourself to become clear on what you really need at this time.  Now see yourself as already having this.  Allow yourself to feel what it would feel like to have this in your life now...and with each breath, allow that feeling to expand from your heart to your whole body, breathing in and breathing out.  Gently allow each breath to expand this thought, this desire, this feeling into each part of your body and being, until you aren't just thinking about what it is you want, you are it...breathing and knowing, I am ...... Breathing and knowing I am ......

Now when you are ready, gently let yourself become aware of your feet as they rest of the floor, the chair or cushion you are sitting or resting on.  Become aware of the place you are in, knowing that as you do, you are bringing this new sense of awareness, and experience with you.  You are that ...... that you brought into your attention.  As you come back into the present moment, know that you can come back to this feeling, this experience and awareness at any time.  This is not something outside of you, it is you, and the more you focus on it, the more you allow yourself to relax into it, the more you nurture it, and the more you nurture yourself.

What's wrong with NEWS?

Most of us watch it, and many complain about it, but is there anything wrong with it?  No, not in and of itself.  It's information, albeit sometimes subjective, but nevertheless information.  The biggest problem I have is the type of information that is being focused on.

The other day Christopher Stevens, in a tragic attack on the US Embassy in Egypt, died, after protestors stormed the embassy following news that an anti-Mohammad movie was released or made.
What I would like to hear about besides this side of the story is what else happened.  I would like to hear about the Muslims that came to the aid of those in the Embassy.  I would like to hear of what others in the area are doing to discourage such senseless crimes.  I would like to hear about the moderates, the majority, the regular citizens that want a world where they can raise their children safely, and make a decent living.

Like with our own views and beliefs, there are always many sides to every story and truth that are also valid and need our attention. It is my premise that these areas need our attention at least as much as the main story here. 

As a Counselor I help clients each day to question their thoughts and beliefs, to look behind their thoughts to the meaning of what they are saying.  I ask them to to stop and question the truth of their statements, gently pushing them to see a greater truth, a bigger picture.

We can all do the same, and I would like to see this reflected more in our News programs as well.  It's too easy to focus on what is wrong, and who is wrong, or who did wrong, without stepping back and seeing the whole picture.

My prayers to all those hurt or killed in these senseless attacks.

Don't focus on that, focus on this!?

Focus on what?

Your problems.  Don't focus on your problems, focus on what you want, your hearts desire, what you yearn for, your passion...

Well that makes good sense............but, if it were only that easy!!!

Many of us try to live by this philosophy, only to end up dwelling on our problems or spending all kinds of time and energy trying to avoid them.  This can be very subtle or extreme.  Often we find ways of avoiding by working too much, over-committing ourselves, drugs or alcohol, exercise...  So where does that leave us and what do we do?

It's important that I make a distinction here.  There is a big difference between focusing or rather dwelling on our problems, and all that is wrong in our life and who caused us such pain and anger..., versus focusing or loving awareness of our bodies sensations and feelings.  We all know the first part very well, because we all have done it, or still do it, and yet most will agree that the outcome is always the same, suffering.

So what do I mean loving awareness.  Well let me elaborate.  I have written some in the past on Body Awareness which looks at this in more detail, so feel free to look that up on my Blog.  Let's do a small exercise here...

Sitting with your feet on the floor, allow yourself to take a few deeper breaths, noticing your belly as it moves in and out with each breath, breathing in and breathing out.  Nothing is more important in this moment than your breath, breathing in and breathing out.  Now as you continue to breathe, move your mind or awareness to your pelvis and just notice what you are feeling or sensing in this area.  Slowly moving your attention up from your pelvis to your solar plexus, just becoming aware of any sensations or feelings.  As you do know that just for this moment there are no good and bad feelings, there is no need in this moment to judge, or to make anything right or wrong  You are just noticing, feeling out what is going on, allowing yourself to feel what is going on, knowing it's okay, and that you are okay, regardless of how you feel in this moment.  With this awareness continue to slowly move your mind throughout your body remembering to breathe, as breath will help you to move through or process whatever is going on, breathing in, breathing out.  Just for now whatever I'm feeling is okay, I'm okay...breathing.

Loving awareness is as simple as noticing what we're feeling and where we're feeling it in our body, whether it be a sensation like tension or pain, or a feeling.  We can use words such as, "I am noticing this ...", "I am noticing the feeling of ...", "I am noticing resistance/defensiveness", "I am experiencing the feeling of ..." or "I am experiencing ...".  Whatever works for you.  The idea with using phrases like this is that we are differentiating ourselves, or the greater part of ourselves and the feeling or sensation, which is different from saying, "I am anxious".  See for yourself.  And again, don't forget to breathe.  

On a final note, you can spend longer with any feeling or sensation to explore it if you are able to hold the awareness...which leads me to the next part.  What happens to many of us as why try to maintain any type of awareness is that our minds go somewhere else, a thought, a memory, what caused us to feel this way, etc.  This exercise then serves multiple purposes.  It helps us to actually process an experience without ruminating on it.  It helps us to train our minds to be more present, and to live/be in the moment.  It helps us to build a deeper more kind and loving relationship with ourselves, and it gives us a great tool for taking better care of ourselves.

Now that you are hopefully feeling in a better place, you can focus on your passion with more openness and love.  The way I see it is, now our focus will be clearer, because there won't be so much in the way.  Put in another way, you will have a stronger foundation on which to build what you want!  A suggestion on focusing on your goals; use I statements, and the present tense, and try the word grateful.  Here's an example, "I am healthy", or "I am grateful to be healthy", while allowing yourself to get into the feeling of what that would feel like and seeing yourself as being healthy, if you can.

Happy Journeys.